WOMEN: GETTING OLDER. STAYING HAPPY
Many people find tranquility and joy in their later years, relieved of responsibilities such as bringing up children and maintaining a career. They are glad to have more time to devote to their partners, the rest of the family, friends, hobbies and other interests. People who plan for their later years usually manage best.
Others find it very difficult to adjust to social and family changes at this time of life. Particular problems may arise.
• If after retirement you move to a new community, you may find it hard to make new friends, and you may miss the family and friends you left behind more than you anticipated. Distance and finances can restrict how much contact you keep with the people who are dear to you. Continuity of old associations is very important.
• Loneliness and grief can be profound if your partner or someone very close to you dies. This, together with chronic illness of self or partner, is the most common trigger of depression among older people. Loving support from family and friends will help, but even so it takes months or years to be able to enjoy life again after bereavement. Don’t hesitate to approach your doctor or community health worker if you feel you can’t cope with grief or loneliness.
• You may miss the position of authority you attained in your career and the organization of your time imposed by a job. Even when you’ve longed for extra time to devote to travelling, sorting out your photographs, replanning the garden, getting into craft, playing more tennis or bridge and suchlike, you may find it hard to use your time for yourself. Women who’ve spent most of their adult lives caring for others may find it particularly hard to take time for themselves.
• Some relationships break down in middle age or later. Couples without a strong bond who’ve stayed together for years because of the children, or because they don’t want to upset their parents, or because they can’t afford to live separately, or because their careers let them get away from each other most of the time, may find that they can’t tolerate living together in retirement. Deciding to separate can be difficult and distressing, and living alone can be hard to adjust to. • Passing beyond middle age can bring disappointments, as we realize that some of our life’s hopes and dreams won’t be fulfilled. Most of us won’t write the great novel, make the great scientific discovery, achieve eternal fame, though it’s surprising how many great achievements have been in later life – read The Book of Ages, by Desmond Morris (Jonathon Cape, London 1983). No life is empty: we can always look back with pride on many achievements, and who knows what unexpected joys lie ahead.
There’s heaps of advice going around for older people: keep your mind and body active; take up new interests; join a club or group; do a course; become a community volunteer, and so on. All excellent suggestions to help you fill your life happily at any time, and when you’re older you may at last have the time to take them up. Whatever you choose to do in later life, enjoy it!
It’s also good to remember that older people have a special role to play in giving a view of life’s journey to others. Having seen it all in one’s life and survived is an important contribution to the young. You can be honest about the things in life that have been important to you: what you value and what you regret. This is a precious gift to those younger than you who are looking for their own path. Old people who can enjoy themselves or face difficulties with courage give hope and meaning to all around them.
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Автор: admin - Март 12th, 2009 | Категория: Факторы риска. | Нет комментариев -