“I can’t help feeling that I am doing something wrong when I have sex. Years of upbringing can’t be overcome. I’m still a Catholic boy at heart.”

ANSWER: There is no need to overcome those important years. The idea is to incorporate your feelings and memories and values from those years into your sexual life. If this seems almost impossible, I suggest you consult a clergyperson. Examination of belief and value systems is a key part of developing super marital sex for all couples, so your orientation gives you a head start here. The challenge will be in learning a new sexuality that is comfortable and nonoffensive to you both. I can assure you that in the years I have been doing therapy, I have never encountered a religious system that prohibits sensitive, caring intimacy between married people. The problem is usually not the religion, but the religiosity, the way it was taught and not what was taught. We must learn to look for the deeper messages in our value system, the messages about and not against sexual intimacy.

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